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Real Life and PPD

Andrea Alves Passos was born on the first of August 2014, at 8am sharp. She was the only of my babies who was born in the morning and she came in a different labor room than the other 2 girls. Gorgeous, smaller than the others, but still big: 8lb 5oz (3.77kg.) She was born with the same face as Evelyn.

Here, when you have a normal delivery and it’s not your first baby you only have to stay in hospital for a bit over 24h, so the pediatrician can check on the baby on “day 2″. Then you can go home. But this time I asked to stay an extra night to rest. It’s not like you can rest a lot when you have a newborn, but at home I’d have the baby plus the two girls.

When Evelyn was born, it was getting cold, she was a horrible feeder and it was tough! Now, looking back, I realize that I had PPD (Post Partum Depression.) I don’t have family here in Ireland, my friends were too busy with either small babies or kids in school, and none of them lived close enough that I could visit by foot. It was TOUGH!

When Melissa was born, I came home after 3 sleepless nights and had to face the baby, the toddler, the house and cooking on my own. Esdras had to go to the office the day after I arrived. Melissa suffered a lot with gas and needed to be held upright a lot, and Evelyn was 19 months old and demanded a lot of attention. It was HORRIBLE too. I remember telling Esdras that there was not a day when I didn’t think about getting out of the door and never coming back… See, PPD again!

It was different this time. I spent the extra night in hospital, having people cooking for me, not having to worry about cleaning, laundry, my girls being well looked after by their loving dad. I only had to feed the baby, eat and sleep. First week at home, this time Esdras had paternity leave, so he took over the girls, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry and even brought me food in bed! I spent as much time as I could in bed, and all the visitor were saying that my house looked too clean and organized for someone who JUST had a baby! Second week, a dear friend-sister took Melissa and Evelyn to spend the week at her house, and she has kids who are friends with the girls so they all enjoyed. So I rested. I slept as much as I could, did something in the house, here and there, but I R.E.S.T.E.D. And look, PPD didn’t come around this time!

It’s not being easy: Melissa is doing wrong things to get attention, Evelyn still fights us saying she doesn’t need to go toilet, prepare the 3 (and myself!) to get out of the door is a challenge, breastfeeding when the other 2 want attention is crazy, besides hearing them screaming “mommy mommy mommy!” the whole day in between the newborn cries.
But those first 2 weeks with LOADS of help were essential to help keeping PPD at bay. I didn’t take medicine the other times, even because I only acknowledged that that’s what I had now on the 3rd pregnancy. But this time I firmly believe that it won’t even show up! I praise God for surrounding me with loving people to take care of me.

Being a mother of 1, 2, 3 or 10 is not easy, but without depression it surelly is less difficult!

* Did you have PPD? Talk to your friends and family, and accept all the help they can offer. There’s nothing wrong in assuming that this is what it is, and there’s nothing wrong in needing meds if that’s your case!

* Do you know someone who suffers with PPD? Offer practical help: clean the house, do the dishes, cook, fold her laundry, take over the older kids for a day or even some hours. It all relieves the burden on the new mom’s shoulders (and conscience.)

Share this! Who knows if my experience won’t help someone you know?
God bless

1 comment to Real Life and PPD

  • Renata Hall's

    Mary vc foi uma pessoa que sem duvida me ajudou muito nos momentos difíceis na gestação do Pedro, acho que pelo fato de sempre estar conversando comigo, orando por mim e comigo, que eu não cheguei a via de fato… DPP bem longe de mim, e graças a Deus essa minha segunda gestação foi tranquila, ainda sinto vontade de chorar mas quando olho para os meus dois filhos e meu marido dentro do meu LAR sinto que sou a mulher mais feliz e forte desse mundo. agradeço todos os dias por isso e claro pelas amizades verdadeiras que Deus colocou em minha vida também … vc é uma dessas amizades TE AMO

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